Creations...  (Read 1019 times)

Offline Queen Chibi

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Creations...
« on: Oct 15 2008, 02:51 PM »
I have an imaginary friend.

Her name's Rya, she's a wildcat.

I'd let her explain since she understands it better, but... it's better that I try.

It started out as an alternate online persona used to decieve others, just a simple lie, part of an elaborate deception. But the more I needed the lie to look truthful, the more I began to believe it myself. And by the time I told the truth, it was too late, I firmly believed the lie.

I suspect that this may stem from a nasty habit I developed from roleplaying. Which what pretending to be her was to me pretty much. I had this habit of becoming the person I was pretending to be. But maybe, maybe this is just a lie that went too far.

I don't know what to do anymore, she's there, but I know it's all in my mind. I think that my firm belief in the lie willed her into existance, and now I don't know how to get rid of her.

Nowadays, I tend to carry out elaborate conversations with her, on one hand it's as if she's the voice of my heart, but on another, it's as if she's the greatest enemy I will ever have, one who desires my destruction out of bitterness of being created.

I just want her gone, I want to move on, but I don't know if she'll let me, it's as though once she got her claws into me, there was no getting rid of her and I can't tell if she's actually the voice of my heart or something more sinister.

I'd try and convince myself that she's not real, but... it's like she's preventing me. Or maybe my belief in her is so strong that I'm no longer able to do so. I suspect her power over me is lessened in the real world, but in my dreams she has a great deal of power over me, I'll get into fights with her and not only will she kick my ass, but I'll wake up with scratches and occasionally dried blood on my nails. (I really need to clip them so she can't use them against me in the dream world)

Please advise me on this, I really really need help.

How do I kill a creature that isn't real?

Offline Blackfoxx

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Re: Creations...
« Reply #1 on: Apr 05 2010, 12:03 AM »
i have a simmiler problem almost exacly the same. blackfoxx or vix for short dose most the same iv lernt not to dream any more dont ask how. she's been with me since i was small about 4yrs she was just an imagenery friend i could see her and every thing we use to play. but my life has had problems and over time vix she became angry at those who'd tese and hurt me. one mornig i woke up and she was gone only to find out she was nothing more than a voice in my head now. she try's to fight for control over me both phisicly and metaly but she's yet to have won. iv been holding her back for the last 12 maby 14yrs.
i cant keep her bac forever though at night she keeps me awake so its hard to sleep in the last two yrs she influecing my actions more and more though she is not bad she is aggressive.

iv never said nothing cuz onestly i never thought there was anyone who had anything simmiler to myself.

Please advise me on this, I really really need help.
How do I kill a creature that isn't real?         
onestly i dont know do a Fight Club(good movie) and pretted to kill yourself i sopose iv been trying to figure that out for a while myself.
Blackfoxx
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In all we know shall burn before us. let all cry's be herd to deaf ears. May whispers of help be to soft understand. An in the end we will be afraid

Offline shippou

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Re: Creations...
« Reply #2 on: Apr 05 2010, 03:50 AM »
If these are simply manifestations of the self destroying them would be, at least to a degree, destroying yourself, however you can take control of them. It would perhaps be reckless to try and fight them without preparing first, and I don't know what you know, but the best way to deal with a split-personality (baring professional help) or whatever you want to call this is to confront it head on. Sorry I couldn't be more help, But I hope you can figure something out.
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."-Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."-Mark Twain

"Don't let schooling interfere with your education."-Mark Twain

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."-Albert Einstein

Offline matoa

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Re: Creations...
« Reply #3 on: Apr 05 2010, 11:14 AM »
I created multiple internal personalities for my use as guides and assistants. I gave them their own personalities and emotions. Sometimes they try to take over, or try to trick me into doing something that is not good in the long run, but I maintain control, and I am the only one in charge. They are merely aspects of my own personality, and they represent areas that I have trouble working with as my "normal" self.

For instance you "created" a wildcat, she is what I call the wolf personality, powerful and strong, but a helpful ally when you need to speak in front of a crowd, defend yourself from attack, or simply survive a disaster. However you must not let your sub personalities control you, as they don't really have your human priorities in mind.

If you have trouble meditating, you could create an assistant just for that, and let it guide you and help you relax. What you are doing is simply a mind game, and there is no outside entity or force influencing your mind. What you may not realize, is that those sub-personalities were always there inside of you, you finally named them, but they were always there.

Johnathan Zap explained it well (But very long winded), I would recommend you start reading some of his works.

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Speaking of our thoughts, we need to watch them constantly. (I’ve decided to surrender to the nonlinear and let intuition zigzag between interpersonal and intrapsychic principles.) We need to recognize that different voices, often generated by distinct subpersonalities, speak in our heads, and we need a central, witness personality that observes those voices/subpersonalities without becoming them.
- Johnathan Zap http://www.zaporacle.com/

Don't treat it as a lie or as an enemy, but ask her to assist as your guide. Once in a while you may do something that you don't normally do, so check to make sure that it is actually you, and not a sub-personality taking over. And if you suddenly get the urge to do something illegal or unethical, REALLY make sure that you are in control of the situation. If you are in control you will probably not do it.

Proper identification and control of your sub-personalities makes you more "sane" than the average person, most people walk around letting their inner voices pull them this way or that without any control. You have taken the first step, now you must assert your control and take back your life and your mind.

Remember these are allies, not enemies. And they are a part of you, you can't separate from them or "kill" them, and by trying to do so you will only hurt yourself.

 ^_^
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